Reply to We are separating, telling kids on Saturday

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do not tell your kids about his affair. My Mom told me about my Dad's affair (happened when I was 6-ish, I found out when I was 13-14). They stayed together, but it f-ed up my relationship to men. Changed how I dated and my ability to become truly intimate (not sexual) with a man. Took me YEARS of therapy to get over it.

DH is a horrible husband. Your kids do not need to know that-ever. They need to know he is a great Dad and will always be a great Dad. [/quote]

Not at 6, but she had a right to tell you as a teenager. [b]Kids should know why  their family busted up[/b]- and really, sometimes someone is to blame. Instead, they will wonder their whole lives why a marriage just cannot work, when really, there are reasons marriages fail. Like this.

"Dad had an affair with someone at the off=fice,in the neighborhood, at the pool, WHATEVER and I had too much respect for myself to let this continue in my life. I deserved more than that, and I hope you wil realize that when you are older and ready to commit to a guy...you deserve more."

You do not have to denigrate him any further, and you do not need to remove him socially from their lives, but  but hiding the truth is stupid. [/quote]

Yes. At some age, they deserve an explanation and to know that Mom or Dad was a cheater, that it just "didn't work out." Don't like the shame you will face from your kids for oh, the rest of their lives? Too bad. Should have kept your dick in your pants[/quote]

I can't tell you how many times I've seen that type of info fuck up kids lives. That makes the hurt spouse feel better. It NEVER makes the kids feel better. Best to just leave it at we realized we were better parents apart from each other than we were together because we made each other unhappy. We did what we thought was best.  [/quote]

Mnay times you have seen this  fuck up kids' lives? Really? You mean it wasn't the divorce  and subsequent lying that might have done that?

"Yeah, we were better parents apart because that way I [b]REALIZED [/b]( love your wording)  screw my coworker."

Ahemmm.. they did not make each other unhappy. HE made her unhappy. She does not want this divorce.

"We did what we thought was best." ARE YOU FOR REAL?

You are delusional if you think this kind of bullshit goes over well with kids. Delusional. I'm guessing you are the screw-er of others, while your ex is the just plain screwed.

Nope- lying to your kids, your OLDER kids, is just plain wrong, and might I say, very, very transparent  as far as your reason is for this approach.  
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