Reply to Don't feel connected to wife anymore

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So PP- how did your second affair partner take it when you broke it off?[/quote]

She had a near miss and was almost caught by her DH.  She suggested breaking it off, I was fine with it.[/quote]

Didn't develop any feelings at all for your affair partner?

And if your wife's libido now is higher and you're older with a lower drive, do you worry that she'll stray?[/quote]

Look pp.  I don't see how you are not getting this.  Sex is an all important part of connection in a marriage.  It is the only way that a man can feel connected to his wife or really even "feel married."  However, in an affair, sex does not offer a connection, and it does not make people feel married.  You need the actual wedding rings for it to be bonding.  I think maybe something about the gold from the rings changes the way hormones work.

[/quote]

So sex in a marriage is a bonding experience but sex outside of it is meaningless.  So you cheated on your wife for some emotionless humping?[/quote]

That emotionally bless humping was filling a void apparently.  Why don't women understand if you're going to deprive a male of sex he is going to fill it somewhere else?  Having a sexless marriage is worse than cheating because you've decided for two people they aren't going to have sex.  If you don't want to then fine, but don't decide for your husband (or wife) that they're not going to either.

I knew an older couple and she hit menopause and basically dried up.  She said she's not interested in sex anymore and bluntly told him she has no desire to maintain a sexual relationship.  Then she was surprised when he eventually went outside the marriage to get laid.  She was done having sex but he wasn't.  How is that fair?[/quote]

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