Reply to Wife having mid-life crisis and not sure how to respond

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I totally disagree that those things eliminate insecurity about aging. Why else would so many people in otherwise happy marriages have affairs around this time? It's not that they don't feel loved or cared for or considered attractive by their spouse. They want to know they are still attractive to others.  [/quote]

+1 OP's wife already told him that his compliments don't count because he's supposed to say nice things. She's looking for validation outside of the marriage. [/quote]

And I can see where she's coming from. You sort of become inured to the compliments your husband gives or you think "yeah you're just saying that so ill have sex tonight." Or you wonder if it's a rote thing they just say out of habit. Definitely not the same as a man on the street giving you a genuine compliment. That being said, this sort of thing and the fact her kids are now in school and she seems at loose ends are what make her a good candidate for an affair, which hopefully she has the self awareness to recognize. I can easily see how many people fall into this trap at this particular stage in life- they don't hate their spouse or want to destroy the family, they just want to feel desirable again and fill a void that's in their life because their life is moving in a direction that they haven't fully caught up with yet. I truly think even the most decent people can get caught up in that at this stage so it's good OP is recognizing it- hopefully the wife is too.[/quote]

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