Reply to Wife having mid-life crisis and not sure how to respond

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] We have what most would consider a very good setup.  Nice house, upper middle income, healthy, smart kids, good public schools. .[/quote]

"We"?  These are your criteria.

Many women favor intimacy, emotional security and a man who is "present" in their lives.

It helps to eliminate the insecurity that comes with aging.

Where do you stand based on these criteria?[/quote]

I totally disagree that those things eliminate insecurity about aging. Why else would so many people in otherwise happy marriages have affairs around this time? It's not that they don't feel loved or cared for or considered attractive by their spouse. They want to know they are still attractive to others. They want to feel young again. OTHER PEOPLE cannot eliminate the insecurity around aging. Only ourselves. So if that is how op's wife is feeling, she needs to look inward, not at her husband or other men to validate her. A really good volunteer job would do wonders, like working with underprivileged kids or at a women's shelter if possible. Even a food pantry. A job would also not hurt and she has the luxury of picking something that she enjoys without having to worry about how much it pays. seeking sense of purpose and identity from within is the only way to combat the sense of loss one feels upon aging and losing looks. [/quote]

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