Reply to SAHM's, What do you do all day?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]10:00, calm the #$@! down.  People like you who make nasty, overgeneralizing comments about other posters are *actually* the problem with DCUM.  I think it *is* offensive to look at working moms with pity and imply that they just didn't have a very good lot in life to get stuck working.  Not that WOHM moms do the same thing - people on both sides of this issue openly pity people who aren't in their own camp.

But yes, I, too, can't stand when I tell people that I work and they tell me how "blessed" they are to be able to work, they could never let someone else raise their child.  [/quote]

You totally missed the point and you are reading things into posts that just aren't there.  Saying "I feel lucky to be able to stay home" does not mean anyone looks at working moms with pity or thinks that they don't have a good life!  That is crazy.  Saying "I feel lucky to be able to do this because it's what I want" doesn't in any way imply "I think your way sucks and you're NOT lucky."  I can feel lucky to be at home while you feel lucky to have a great job.  One has nothing to do with the other.

I'll say it again... I feel very, very, very lucky to be able to stay home [i]because I want to stay home[/i].  What part of that has anything to do with pity, looking down on someone, suggesting someone else raises her child?  Any woman who is happy with her situation should feel lucky, because there are a lot of women who have to work when they'd rather stay home and a lot of women who are stuck at home when they'd rather be working.  
[/quote]

PP here - I don't think I have missed the point, buI don't think you're the type of person I'm talking about in my above post.  Some people act as though day care is the worst thing to inflict on a child.

So perhaps I should be more clear - It's not the "I'm lucky to be able to stay at home" that bothers me.  Anybody with a meaningful choice is a position of privilege; that includes myelf.  What DOES drive me crazy is when people say things along the line of"I'm so blessed that my children don't have to go to day care, I would hate to do that to them." I suppose out of context that sounds benign, but if you scroll up, you will see people who say that day care should be an absolute last resort.  As though it's inflicting some kind of harm on your child to go to day care.  Perhaps the people with this condescending, limited view of day care are few and far between, but they sure are vocal.  (And I agree that there are bad day cares out there, but there are also bad SAHMs whose children would be better off being cared for by someone else. )

So yeah, when people imply they're blessed to not be in *my* situation, and not just blessed to be able to make a choice, I am offended.  I can't really take it another way when in the same conversation, people say things like "You shouldn't have children if you can't take care of them."  Again, maybe I've just encountered some really tacky people, but can you see why I sympathize with being offended by the 'blessed' remarks? [/quote]

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