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Elementary School-Aged Kids
Reply to "Straight A's but only if I yell"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Back off. Failure is cheap at this age (unless you plan on folowing her to college and afterwards). Motivation has to come from the child. External [i]incentives[/i] can help the internal motivation. Praise and reward effort. [/quote] Tell that to my Korean tiger mom. She rode my ass like a rented mule until I got my offer letters from schools she determined was acceptable. And even then, do you think she was going to let me fuck around with some bullshit degree like psychology or English Lit? Riding your kids ass does indeed work.[/quote] My Indian parents didn't even ask if I did my homework. My brothers and I all went to top ten colleges and grad schools. Not riding our asses worked, too![/quote] OP here. I suppose it's different for each child depending on family dynamics. I still have to manage my daughter very closely and it's hard but when she "fails" at things, I keep my composure. So instead of saying something like how could you not know there was a test and going on a diatribe- I talk to her about strategies to prevent this problem going forward. It's really, really hard sometimes to be patient but that's what's working for us- and overall she's still an A student taking the most advanced classes. [/quote]Sounds good overall but are you sure you want to give her the message that not getting an A is "failure"? Sounds like the basis for training a kid to work hard out of fear of others' disappointment rather than working hard because she enjoys an intrinsic feeling of accomplishment and mastery.[/quote]
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