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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Former OW here. I never wanted him to leave his wife. I was terrified of her finding out, his kids finding out, ruining their image of him as a father. I still feel intense guilt about the fact that she doesn't know this about him. But then I think maybe it's better for her since it's over, or maybe she sort of suspected but didn't dig in to find out.

There is a special place in hell for us though, and it's right here on earth. I fell deeply in love with him, but couldn't be with him. Even if he had wanted a divorce I wouldn't have wanted him that way, his kids heartbroken, his family tirn apart.

So I'm trying to accept life the way it is, let go and move on.  But don't worry about OWs feeling no pain. I guarantee you from reading other boards we are mostly a miserable, self-loathing group trying to build self-esteem without the MM. [/quote]

Former OW -- even if she sort of suspected and didn't dig in -- keep in mind that he was likely gaslighting her if he didn't want her to know. I would want to know for sure. And not figuring it out might mean nothing more than that she didn't have proof of *your* existence, not that she didn't catch on to the fact that her marriage was a shitshow & her DH was lying to her. [/quote]

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