Reply to Need advice - I have zero attraction to DH and avoid sex

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Outsource more. Make sex the priority. Not cooking and the yard. Or you'll end up divorced. [/quote]

Try to compromise, you don't have to like having sex nor should it be a priority before your kids or others factors in the marriage.  Just as he doesn't doesn't like home repairs or chores around the house. That's ok.  Try to tell him how you feel.  Do the duty sex a few times a month, certainly don't reward him for the groping, or pawing. That should stop it by turning around and walking away.  Like kids you don't reward bad behavior.

I would like to know what he said after you talked to him. Did it register?

[/quote]
This is the most horrible advice ever.  It won't take him long to figure out your doing duty sex and not enjoying it.  
[/quote]

It's great advice.  Apparently his needs won't always top the list, as marriage is a balance.

The same way I can't force my husband to love cooking, or sewing; no one can force me to always love to have sex or put it #1. Isn't going to happen.

Marriage is a compromise.  Perhaps if he helps more, compromises in other areas he might get more of his needs met. How it all works. [/quote]
Actually nope, it's horrible.  Her husband won't take long to figure out its duty sex and coming from a man, that's almost as bad as no sex.  Passionless sex or finding out your wife isn't into you is damaging to a guy.  If OP doesn't find the issue her DH will find someone who will have sex with him and enjoy it[/quote]
What do you mean, find the issue? She already found the issue.  The way he touches her isn't enjoyable. It doesn't feel good.  You are looking at it with a curious insistence that there IS a way for it to feel good, and that it's all in her head.  If I fed you raw chicken and insisted it does feel good and it's all your fault it doesn't taste good to you, would you agree it's your issue?

If my DH does something that doesn't feel good, I tell him and reinforce if necessary.  If he insists on doing it, he's welcome to find someone else to have bad sex with, so I don't have to.[/quote]

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