Reply to DH friendships with women - what's your comfort level

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]I agree with 10:13 - there is some "hit" or validation that DH is getting from these friendships that he clearly isn't getting at home from me. And that makes me so sad. That's the conversation I really want to have with him. 
[/quote]

then this is the conversation you have. start here. you might not like what you hear, but at least you wont' be dancing around the issue.

Also, I detect some sense in your posts that you are almost more afraid of being seen as "needy" than you are of your husband engaging in an inappropriate relationship. You shouldn't be. It is good to build healthy boundaries around your marriage and to be able to say 'Hey, this is not sitting right with me."[/quote]

Yes. I am most afraid of looking needy and demanding to DH. I feel like the "right" thing to do or the "awesome wife" thing to do is to be totally cool with these friendships and support his ability to maintain a fun social life even as first time parents. but instead i am the bad/demanding/paranoid/wetblanket wife who wants to limit him. [/quote]

Look, I used to be more concerned about seeming cool with like this, and then DH cheated and our marriage was in crisis. I think you have to draw a line and are very clear that he's crossing a boundary. It doesn't really matter if he thinks you're a wet blanket - if he wants to, he can divorce you and do whatever, but as long as he's married to you he needs to respect your marriage. It's OK to insist on that. Get the book by Shirley Glass about emotional affairs - Not Just Friends. It really helps clarify and articulate why this behavior is wrong.[/quote]

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