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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had a horrible friend who I thought was keeping things confidential.  Turned out she was telling him everything!  That's a co-dependent woman who can't have a separate identity from their husband.  Being over secretive is one thing, sharing everything and betraying people's trust is another.

Both are equally dysfunctional. [/quote]

Just curious, how did you find out? I am a PP that doesn't believe in secrets and is clear about that with my friends. Occasionally I will talk to my spouse about how to help a friend or assist (ie, a friend going through a breakup who has been sleeping around and I am worried). I will tell him if they revealed something scandalous they did in the bedroom that he might think was interesting. Random things that my friends certainly wouldn't tell him but he also would never bring up in their presence. Like part of the idea of no secrets is that my husband isn't going around blabbing my friend's business. We talk to each other but our conversations stop with each other too.

I think a better way to phrase how a lot of us feel about this isn't, 'why do you feel like you have to tell your spouse anything' and more 'do you feel comfortable intentionally keeping something secret from your spouse.' I don't tell him everything, and sometimes I might leave something out about my family that might make things tense or make someone feel uncomfortable but there is never anything that I would REFUSE to tell him. I think that is the line that a lot of us are describing. [/quote]

Oh my God, you tell your husband about your friends' bedroom habits and sexual history? I think you definitely should let your friends know that you are sharing their intimate lives with him. Also seems icky that you want your husband to imagine Friend X doing kinky Y. My husband would be mad at me if I put him in a position where he had to be around my friends and pretend he doesn't know about their anal beads or whatever.[/quote]

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