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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP.  My wife does not know.  There are/have been other lady friends from work over the years that I have disclosed to her and in fact she has become friends with them.  Nothing to hide.  The issue here is if I tell my wife about this one she may get some suspicion simply because this woman is just really very gorgeous and same age as I.  My wife knows this is the kind of woman I'm attracted to - intelligent, accomplished, beautiful professional woman.  [/quote]

And NOW I will say it is inappropriate, having been in the "no big deal" camp before.

Listen, any relationship that is characterized by secrecy is not a good one for you to be in. There is a reason you haven't told your wife, and it isn't because you are concerned about her insecurity. It is because you are clearly attracted to this woman and hoping something more than friendship results. Those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.

My DH has women friends and colleagues with whom he gets coffee or lunch. Doesn't bother me at all. He doesn't need my permission or have to run things past me (as so many alarmist posters have claimed will happen on this thread). People understand how business works. But having one companion that you deliberately hide from your wife raises a lot of questions about your intentions.
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