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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP.

My Bf and I did the math last night and after he pays the bills, rent and his loans, transportation costs and groceries including budgeting for $60 for lunches each week, he has about $600 of his paycheck that should be left over for him to save. So far, he does not manage to save it so we talked about buckling down and making sure we save at least $500 of it. Since he covers all the essential costs my paycheck of 3300ish per month should go to being saved.

I think together we'll be okay. We aren't managing our money well. I also need him to earn more before we have children since, if I stay home, we won't have any of my income for extra expenses.  [/quote]

He has his priorities, and those are helping his family whenever they need it or ask for it. I would be shocked if any of the money you think you can find to save actually finds it way into longterm savings. He's just going to see it as more of a cushion for helping.

Earlier, you said you want luxuries like nice things and vacations. These are not your BF's priorities! That makes him a really good, really generous guy, but it's going to make it hard for you to have that kind of life.[/quote]

OP here. Yes.  When we got together, I thought he wanted to have a nice life and enjoy it. At this point, it just feels like we are barely getting by and we have no funds left over for things such as trips or vacations. When we have a mortgage and even just one child, unless we see a significant boost in our financial resources, life will be tough. I don't want ti survive, I want to thrive.[/quote]

That may or may not happen with this guy. You haven't answered - how much goes to his family routinely? You say he has zero savings - does that mean the $600 month he COULD save ultimately goes to them - whether monthly or whenever there's an issue? What makes you think that just bc you've come up with a savings plan he'll do it? Can you envision life without him? Can you envision a life that's paycheck to paycheck where you may go back to work 6 wks after having a baby? Can you envision a life where you get a modest vacation every 3-5 yrs? Which of these lives do you want to envision?

And you also haven't answered - would he consider a switch to mgmt consulting now while he's fairly young, even though he didn't pursue it a few yrs ago?[/quote]

From what I know, he does not support his family these days. they had a major crisis last year during which he did and his dad dug into his savings quite a bit. It sounded like his parents have access to his savings account. He had saved up quite a bit by being frugal but his family dug into his funds. This upset my BF a lot but he felt he couldn't be rude to his father. There is no arrangement for a payback. Lately, I do not know what the situation is. He does not tell me in detail what goes on. I am actually very wary about starting a joint savings account with him because of how his family has dug into his finances in the past. :\

Also, I talked to him last night about consulting. He says he is doing very well for his age and experience and he'd rather be a big fish in his small firm than start from scratch at a bigger firm.[/quote]

wait, what?  no one can "dig into" your savings account unless you give them access to it.  why TF does his father have access to his savings account?  you're making it sound like his dad went in and basically stole his money and he said nothing about it because he didn't want to be "rude?"  Jesus.

i don't understand why your BF is paying all your bills and basically provided an accounting to you of what all his money goes to but you have no idea how much or whether he gives money to his family.  [/quote]

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