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[quote=Anonymous]OP, my MIL was so emotional and crazy obsessed with my first born I wouldn't have been surprised if I had caught her trying to breastfed her (I didn't, it was a joke between my DH and I).  She drove me batshit crazy, she was overbearing, all in my face, always over the top, which doesn't mesh well with my temperment or personality. I agreed to let her come overseas for 3 weeks when the baby was 2 weeks old to stay in our tiny TH with us to "help out".  I felt so smothered by her.  WE had a few fights, but overall I tried my best.  Looking back I realize I had PPD and was just super hormonal.

Over the years I have compromised and held my tongue in many ways in order to allow my children to have a good relationship with my MIL (agreeing to let her stay with us, sometimes a month at a time, aagreeing to vacation with her for weeks at a time, skyping several times a week, always remembering her birthdays, etc.).  and eventually I allowed her to take my two kids on a grandmother and grandkid only vacation a few times, which my MIL was dying to do for years.  My Mil is super annoying, but deep down inside there is a good person there.  My MIL is divorced, and my SIL declared she never wants kids, so my children are her only grandchildren, hence there is a lot of pressure there.

Two years ago, at the age of 63, out of nowhere she had a stroke.  She has never fully recovered.  While annoying and overbearing, I now realize how full of life she used to be, how energetic, adventurous and giving.  She basically is homebound and can barely speak.  She cannot travel, and definitely cannot go on any vacations.  FaceTime doesn't work so well because she can barely speak a coherent sentence.  It's awful. I am very glad I put aside my own irritations and nuances about my MIL to allow her those 8 years of spending precious time with my children.  You may not see it now OP, but your ILs may be excellent grandparents with your child, creating a wonderful bond and relationship.  Don't entirely shut them out.  [/quote]

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