Reply to Ex-military at my agency calling every woman "Ma'am"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it is probably his military background that is more troubling to the OP than the use of the phrase. The phrase is simply an outward sign that reminds the OP that he has a military background. She probably doesn't know how to relate to him and the phrase reminds her that his background is different than hers and she doesn't understand it so she is lashing out at what she doesn't understand. Classic fear of those who are different than you. She should attend training on how to be more inclusive in a diverse working environment. [/quote]

I don't agree that she has a problem with his military background! Have no trouble with military: great skills, great backgrounds, great people -- like you find in every population.

I taught career transition workshops for the military and always/ often explained that the use of ma'am was not appropriate in the civilian workforce. It is not done in our society anymore and even when it was " done" often only in the south, or children to say to,parents, teachers, elders.  My 75 yr old father ( raised in the south) stills says ma'am when he is addressing woman he does not know - very weird and awkward.

In the civilian workforce everyone ( in theory) is equal.  Yes, we have bosses and decision makers but there is a sense that everyone in the group/on the team is part of the process so everyone is a "respected" colleague. You have peers and colleagues not a direct command authority. Where I work now, most people have ph.d's yet we don't call each other "Dr", we say hi larlo or will get that to,you larla. In the civilian world, work is done with peers through professional collaboration no matter your title or level. It is a different way of working and thinking and so will likely take him some time.

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Thank you, miss.[/quote]

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