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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don't worry, you can dis the skinny moms after their husbands divorce them and they lose their social standing.[/quote]

Do the divorced SAHMs who lose their social standing take their lunch boxes and sit on park benches like laid off Japanese workers?[/quote]

I really think this post was started by a troll and the above comment if proof of the baitig going on here.

A few reality checks:

1) Washington DC has one of the highest rates of higher educational degrees per capita ( masters, PhD ) Not too many SAHM in my DC's Big 3, but conversely, we sure do have a lot of women who are Harvard law and full partner at top draw international law firms, serve in POTUS' cabinet, or perhaps just your average surgeon, journalist , etc.. Some of these women might also be very athletic and , as a result , be in great shape. They might also be beautiful, but that is not their  doing, is it.

2) VERY few women I know in this town derive their social standing from their husbands. In fact, I can't count one . Actually, most couples I know they met at law school . As a matter of fact, no fewer than 6 parents out of 70 some at DC private met at Harvard Law school ( where both were attending law school)

So, my guess is the troll lives outside the Beltway , has no professional women friends and is very unhappy[/quote]

Your post makes very little sense to men.  Neither 1) nor 2) has any logical relationship to whether a woman might be treated differently in a specific community because she's overweight.  FWIW, I don't like seeing people make assumptions about other women based in the fact that they're skinny or blond, either.  I'd like to see more compassion and less judgment, but I've been on DCUM long enough to know that along with some very nice people, it's full of those who delight in hurtful snarks.

I am OP, BTW, and I'm not a troll.  I don't live outside the beltway.  I have two degrees from HYP schools.  I did meet my husband at the HYP where I received my advanced degree.  He is of normal weight and in IMHO quite handsome. We're still very much in love.  I have many friends -- some professional, some SAHMs -- outside the private school my DC attends.  I'm generally a pretty happy person.

Thanks to all who offered kind advice and insights.  This is not our first private school; we have two children in other privates. We have donated, volunteered, been active in classroom events.  I notice other new moms in DC's class being welcomed in a way I have not.  I'm a friendly, outgoing person, so I've been puzzled more than anything else.  It's true that everyone has more in common with some people than others.  However, at the other two schools, the communities seemed more welcoming and open.

The one mom who has been friendly (and is overweight herself) has been at the school for a while, and I notice she is treated in a similar way.  She's a lovely person with a great sense of humor.  The other moms are polite to her, but she's also not included in the mom get-togethers, and her child also seems to have few play dates.  That's what made me begin to wonder if weight/appearances might be a factor.   I also noticed that some of same moms who are polite and distant with me have little difficulty chatting up my husband!  He commented on that himself, wondering why a couple of women he's seen be almost rude to me were very friendly with him.

One caveat is that I don't know many moms outside DC's classroom, so perhaps what I perceive to be cliquishness is particular to a small group of moms.

I appreciate the advice to focus on DC's happiness.  Of course we plan to, but I do wonder whether the fact that DC has fewer play dates than DC's siblings will bother DC after a while.  So far, it's not been noticed.  We plan on staying at the school for now and seeing how the social situation evolves for DC.

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