Reply to Son won't talk to me after affair

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I have a sincere question for you, no snark intended. Has anyone ever suggested, or has the thought ever crossed your mind, that you might have Aspergers? You seem to be approaching your affair in an excessively logical manner, and with a deep inability to empathize with anyone else involved. Yet there doesn't seem to be actual malice underlying it, more just an inability to comprehend why anyone else might not react in exactly the same logical way you do (such as your inability to understand why it isn't good enough for everyone else that you don't work closely with your AP anymore, but did when the affair started).[/quote]

I think he is just self centered and ego-centric.  People on the Autism spectrum have trouble with keeping secrets and lying.  It would be very difficult to keep an affair a secret for 9 months.  Also, they tend to be true and loyal.  I don't think he is a narcissist since he seems to be acknowledging his part, he just wants it to be done and over with so he can get back to his picture perfect life- on the previous thread it seemed like he was more concerned with outward appearances.  That is more a sign of a spoiled brat than anything else.  I also think  that he is worried about the financial split if he divorces.  He completely ignored those types of questions in the previous thread. [/quote]

He needs individual therapy which he is not doing. He is in marriage therapy, which does not fix the self. He blames his marriage for the affair not himself... That will not end well.

Also, having been through this with my son, the affair actually just justifies what my son alway thought ... That his dad was  a self serving asshole. His father fixed his relationship with his son by becoming a good person... Not just to our son and to me but to everybody... The slow old lady in line at the grocery store, the lady with cancer down the street, etc[/quote]

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