Reply to I'm 43 with no kids, but want 1.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Obviously, DCUM falls into two very clearly divided groups:

1) people who have kids in their 40s;
2) people who stridently disapprove -- with charts!

Here's my question: would #2 people disapprove if OP adopted kids in her 40s like my SIL did?

Is fostering O.K. to you?

If so, why or why not?

OP, you can guess that I'm in Camp #1; my advice to you is never to run your life by consensus. You're the only person who gets to live it.
[/quote]

Camp 3. People who think this entire arrangement is immoral and selfish on op's part. No matter what the age [/quote]
This. Don't so CRAZY OP. This is a terrible thing to do to a poor kid. [/quote]

WHAT? How is this a terrible thing to do to a child?

Do you say the same about single women who use a sperm donor (like my boss, who makes $300K+)? 
Or married gay men who use a surrogate (like my colleague and his husband - both of whom are white shoe attorneys)? 
Or perhaps lesbian couples who rely on a sperm donor who is a close friend (like my dear friends who are raising beautiful twin daughters)?

Lots of well adjusted, successful people have children outside the meet in college -> married -> buy MoCo house -> 2.5 kids trajectory.[/quote]

NP, but yes. I would say that all of the circumstances that you describe are selfish acts of self-absorbed, maladjusted people who selfishly bring new children into the world in less than ideal circumstances FOR THE CHILD. Their "wanting" to have kids should not trump the best interests of the poor kid who asked for none of their craziness.[/quote]

another +1000 here

This is titled "I'm 43, I WANT..."

Why would you willingly do this to a child?

You WILL be in your 50's lugging a kid to kindergarten.
You WILL be in your mid- to late- 50's and early 60's lugging a kid (and their necessary equipment) to & from little league or other extracurricular activities.  Staying up late doing homework, and teaching life skills.
You WILL be in your 60's when the kid would graduate high school, and mid-60's upon standard aged college graduation. (What was that about saving and retirement?)
And, let's not forget that as you age you're more and more likely to incur lengthy and expensive illnesses which require massive amounts of $$$, time and caregiving.

This entire thread is further notion of how selfish we Americans have become.
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