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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Allow me to be blunt, any woman who has claimed she can't be friends with another female because she doesn't have anything in common with them  has 100% of the time been the problem.

She is usually overly critical of other women  while make excuses for men.

She usually suffers from "snowflake syndrome"  she is just oh so unique and the only woman on the planet to have xyz interests.

She also typically lacks appropriate social boundaries ie  blantantlyflirts with boyfrien/husband of  other womean and then plays dumb when called out on it saying  things like " I just don't see it like that I'm one of the guys lolz."

It's not them or what you have in common with them that's making you insecure. You are insecure. When you are part of a group of females you think you have to compete with them for  attention ( primarily male) doesn't matter that you are married.

When you are the only girl in the group  you feel like you are special. " The guys are into me."

Grow up.[/quote]

I hate to say it, but I have to say that this is pretty accurate, with one large caveat.

I think it paints a picture of a very narcissistic, attention-hungry woman, which I think might be true in some cases.

But in other cases (maybe most), the root is a woman who is really just uncomfortable talking with women and who probably lacks sophisticated social skills.

It's easier as a woman to interact with men because they are typically nicer and will give plenty of attention without requiring much in return. This is usually because they feel a sense of validation that you are even paying attention to them, so that is all they need from you.

If a woman has very little experience with other women and feels anxious about interacting with them, for whatever reason, she might slide into having only male friends simply because it's easier.

Being friends with women as a woman means mastering give-and-take and also demonstrating some kind of have value (otherwise why would they spend time on you?). Just talking to a woman as another woman isn't a gift to her in and of itself.

So, yes, OP, I think you need to think about these things. It doesn't mean you're a bad person. It sounds like you are new to even-footed social interactions. As someone who was once in your position and made an effort to learn more social competence, I can report that it was worth the effort. [/quote]

Op here.

OMG I think you hit the nail on the head! I'm not blatantly socially awkward and I dress pretty well and am pretty attractive. Guys are always nicer to me because they don't care/ don't pick up on the social capital that is need in order to fit in with most women. From what I've observed being nice and friendly is NOt all that's required to befriend a woman. I unfortunately seem to lack whatever "value" it is that women want their female friends to have. It can be anything ranging from being married to the right guy, having connections to go to the right parties, knowing the right people etc. in high school these are the cool people but In the grown up world I think we have our own version of it.[/quote]
 :roll:  and we're done here / end thread[/quote]

Except she still has "value" all wrong. Be kind. Be funny. Be a good listener. Those things have great value.[/quote]

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