Reply to When Mom's salary breaks even with daycare....

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think some are missing two key points on 19:43's post.

"When the real reason to SAH should be about how you want to raise your children."
 
Keys being "should," and "you" - how you want to raise your children.

I agree it is tragic that people's choices regarding their families are so often constrained by money.  I also think there are two components to how I choose to raise my children.  1) what is best for my children, and if all outcomes are the same, 2) how I want to raise them.  Hence the choice to be a SAHP.  Maybe it will be better for them given their individual personaliteis.  Maybe it woudln't make a difference, but I know at this stage in my life I prefer to be home with them.  Simple as that.  And I competley respect all moms whether they work outside the home or not, whether they do so by necessity or choice.  
 
[/quote]

There is another component. I chose to SAH when they were little because I did not want the chaos in MY life and neither did DH. The thought of nursing and pumping, commuting, sleepless nights and then going into work, the evening rush of scrambling to make a healthy dinner, having to grocery shop and run errands on weekends when all I wanted was family time, flopping into bed exhausted, inability to find time to exercise, and the general grind was NOT something DH and I wanted to do with little kids. We found avoiding that when our kids were little to be priceless.

My choice to SAH was nothing philosophical in terms of child rearing. We wanted the easiest transition into parenthood and for us, me being at home was the way to keep order and quite honestly keep our marriage a happy one. I'm now working FT and it is really a grind, but my kids can fix their own snacks, wipe their own asses, pick out and put their own clothes on, and play unsupervised. This makes all the difference.[/quote]

It was easier for me to WOH FT so I could afford childcare. Without that, I wouldn't have been able to exercise or run errands alone. If I'd have had family support, might have been easier to SAH. Different strokes.[/quote]

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