Reply to Stay with my underemployed DH for the kids?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Stay with my underemployed DH for the kids?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

If I had a daughter, unless she was a very dedicated, talented, hard worker hell bent on a certain job, I would

a) encourage her to get married fairly young (25-28ish) to a man who could support a family reasonably well (rich not required). 
b) encourage her to have realistic expectations about life and strongly discourage entitlement
c) hope that she would go on to live a rich and fulfilling life of interesting and rewarding work post small-child rearing, which is TOTALLY POSSIBLE in our world today. No, you can't drop out of the workforce and go back and get a job at director level. But there are many options in today's world for a creative, smart person to find decent and fulfilling work. There is nothing wrong with not being on a top executive track.

My two cents :)

[/quote]

The problem with this is that most men are horrible husbands.  If your daughter marries young, doesn't have any decent career, and ends up like 75% of the women with an arrogant bastard of a husband who cheats on her and treats her badly, she will be very unhappy.  I am guessing you are a good man who treats his wife well, but really those are rare.  Look at the men around you.  Would you want to be under their thumb?

You seem big on realism.  Realistically, for a woman, she should plan on supporting herself and her children with a job that makes enough money so she can be comfortable.  If she is one of the rare women who catches a decent man, she can always fall back to your dream plan.[/quote]

I'm a woman actually. With a wonderful husband, and while I am grateful everyday, I'm not the only one with a wonderful husband. There are many good people in the world (and many crappy ones).

I agree that a woman should plan for the possibility of supporting herself and her children. I never suggested that a woman not work (unless she works that arrangement out with her husband and is comfortable with the risk).

[/quote]

Then your advice is good advice.  [b]Just as long as your daughters know that a good man is hard to find, and worth far more than rubies or pearls.[/b]  (Better not to marry at all than try to live as the little woman to a man who is not a good man)[/quote]

I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart that the men you've known have not been good men (as your comment seems to imply). I have seen people of both genders behave badly, and I know a lot of great men and great women. I believe most people are fundamentally good.

In any case, whether rare or not, a good spouse is certainly worth more than anything you could physically own, so, there I completely agree with you. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics