Reply to I am scared I lost the love of my life.

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Reply to "I am scared I lost the love of my life."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Omg, what a bunch of jerks on this thread.  He had one really emotional outburst in reaction to devastating news and everyone has decided OP is a horrible person.  Dear lord, we all screw up at some point in time.  He didn't handle it well but that doesn't mean he can't man up now and make it right.  This is a big, emotional issue.  Cut him a little slack!  [/quote]

He is a jerk because he made he horrible news about HIS GIRLFRIENDS fertility about him. He is selfish, full stop.[/quote]

HE KNOWS HE MADE A MISTAKE!!  So you're perfect and never reacted badly to anything? Ever?  Someone who is truly a jerk would still be making it about themselves and not see that they did anything wrong.  Holy crap what a bunch of perfect bitches.[/quote]

PP here.  Look, everyone has made mistakes and the people that say they haven't are lying.  That said, the title wasn't what big relationship mistake did you make (apart from adultery/abuse/addiction) and how did you get your partner take you back?  That would be a completely different thread.  Also, nuances matter and it wasn't clear from the initial posts if OP had moments of doubt about the situation and if he was in the midst of some sort of "deal breaker" decision.  Most people, atleast the ones not calling Op a jerk are all saying the same thing.

1) Own your truth whatever it is.  If it was grief talking as you later clarified about you seeing it as a "we are infertile" and the impact of having lost your parents then be upfront.  If you were having doubts of needed time to think, be honest about that.  If your truth is that deep down you can't cope, be honest about that. I'm NOT saying this to question you, I'm just saying only you know the truth of what you were feeling and why.  We (Internet strangers) are parsing words to figure this out.  Also, sometimes people lie to themselves about things like the woman that tries to be the "cool" girlfriend and never brings up marriage with a boyfriend though she wants to be married or the person that agrees not to have kids though they really want to have kids.

2) You need to be a team. Yes, there are times we fall short but that should be the goal and if you fall off track, you should be trying to get back on track.

3) Make sure you understand why she is upset and listen.  Obviously just on this post we (Internet strangers) can't agree on what was the actual mistake.  Some people think you should have okayed going to your sister, other people think it was fine.  At the end of the day,it only matters why your girlfriend was upset and it may or may not be the same reasons we are guessing. So much of communication/miscommunication has to do with tone, context, and expectations each party has about the situation,

So listen to her concerns, own your truth, and remember/act like you are a team and I'm fairly certain you haven't lost her.[/quote]

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