Reply to When a friend or family member is making a huge parenting mistake...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

As I said, my parents are educators. I didn't say before, but I am a developmental neuroscientist (research, not patients) and my sister is a social worker in the foster care system. When you have clinical experience like PP and my family members, a bad idea like her SILs is not just an idea that sounds bad, as it is to us regular parents. It is a bad idea you have personally seen, and worked to counteract, the effects of--not just once, either, but dozens or hundreds of times. Your mind goes not to "what if it were my kid" as our normal-parent minds do, but to the faces of the many kids you've seen who were harmed by such approaches. PP is not objecting to daycare, as so many PPs think she is, but to the stated objective to "toughen up" a 2 year old boy who his parents think is too sensitive.

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There's some major selection bias there, though. PP and your family members only see the children where X was done and things went wrong. They never see the children where X was done and things went fine. [/quote]

um...ok? That's not news to me. I don't see your point.

To be clear, the educators in my family offered their opinion on Kumon once, and my social worker sister has never said anything about any parenting decision to anyone unless they ask (I ask her stuff all the time). Just cause someone is a professional doesn't mean they CAN'T MYOB. It just means the calculation is different.  In fact the best conversations we have are about just the gap you talk about, bc my sister really does see the worst possible outcomes and so knows the wide range of parenting behavior that can be OK, and my parents see people who have the money to make optimal choices, and they know the difference between a kid who's not at their best in school and a kid who is thriving.  It is usually my sister talking my parents down from their concern. Not any of us talking to the family in question. [/quote]

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