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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, OP.. what will you do?  Will you send your kids on field trips and hope for the best?  Keep them home?  Discuss with their teachers the best way to approach the problem?  (Be prepared for the teachers to suggest your kids need to learn to listen, and function as part of the group.  Especially in grade 4.)

You have opinions, most of which you don't like.  So what is your solution?[/quote]

I'm not sure what you're asking.  I asked how others felt about safety issues on field trips and gave my opinion right up front.  I stated very clearly in my OP that my kids don't go if DH or I don't go.  [/quote]

At what point will you re-evaluate that rock-solid choice, OP? I'm asking seriously. Do you plan to monitor how they do on field trips this school year, and then when their behavior and attentiveness improves to a certain point, you will let them go without you or Dad on the next field trip? Is there, in your mind, a set of behaviors you need to see during field trips before you will reconsider? Yes, you said up front, you won't reconsider, but when your older child hits fifth or sixth grade -- surely by then you will have worked with her enough on paying attention, not dawdling at signs, etc., that she can go on a field trip without you or dad--is that possible?

I do understand the idea of saying that their experiences on field trips mean you feel they need extra monitoring. But I think you know that you and/or dad simply won't be [i]allowed [/i]to chaperone every trip; as others have noted, the numbers of chaperones permitted to participate shrinks quickly as kids get older, and in some venues. Many parents want the chance to chaperone and your insistence on being there every time shuts them out. There will be cases where teachers and administrators are going to fill that chaperone sign-up list, you won't be on it, and they are not going to make an exception for you or dad to go, not based on your reasoning here or your perceptions of past chaperones as not being attentive enough. If your kids had special needs, that would be different, but they don't. You seem to be fine with the idea that your kids will miss out if you miss a sign-up or are told that other parents got there first.

So for those trips where you or dad can't chaperone, you get to keep your kids home. Are you ready for the reactions from your kids to that? Sure, their reactions don't matter to you because you're firm and they are the kids, not the parents. But be aware that very soon, especially for the older child as she sees classmates going on field trips without their parents there-- she is going to know that you come because you don't trust any other adults who aren't you.

That sends two messages - one, [i]she's[/i] not really trustworthy, and two, adults other than you or dad or the teacher can't really be trusted. That's not what you want her to feel, and you'll say that of course SHE's trustworthy, she's just smart and gets delayed reading stuff, etc. but that is not how she will think of it in her kid's mind. You can tell her all day that it's not about her, she's great, etc., but what you tell her and what she'll feel can be two very different things. She'll internalize the idea that mom and dad can't let her do things without their being there, so there must be some reason she's different from the other kids whose parents aren't on every single field trip. And she'll wonder if there's something "off" about every other adult so maybe she should be suspicious and scared.

When your smart daughter misses a field trip, she may also end up stressed by the fact that she'll have to do busy work or extra assignments later as a result of not being there. Many field trips for kids from fourth grade upward involve at least some actual schoolwork, (some middle school field trips have quite a lot) and are not just about sitting there watching a show or running around a museum. The kids sometimes have to fill in worksheets or gather facts at various places on the field trip, and are required to use those facts for reports or other assignments back at school. What is your plan for when your kids are kept home because you couldn't chaperone, and they have to do some other make-up assignment and resent it -- and they also resent missing out on a shared experience with their classmates?

I know, shared experiences mean nothing if they're not safe. But having mom or dad on every field trip indefinitely sends some messages to your kids that they'll carry far beyond the actual field trip. That' won't change your choice as you have said here over and over. Just know that you will have other fallout when your kids start to feel that things aren't safe unless a parent is present, or that they themselves are somehow always in need of monitoring.[/quote]

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