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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, people are clearly hung up on how much help I have NOW, so let me clarify:

I have had a housekeeper and nanny for the past two months. Before now, a worsening of my child's congenital condition required me to be with him for the second year of life.  At the same time, student loan debt meant that I could not afford to be a stay-at-home mom.  So, I moved toa lower paying full time job that required only 40-50 hours a week, instead of my higher paying job that was basically 24 hours a day.  I worked out a deal with my new boss in which I telecommuted three times a week and DH worked out a deal with his boss in which he telecommuted twice a week.  Once a month, I would work a full week in the office.  Once a month, DH would work a full week in the office.

We could not afford a regular nanny.  No daycare could take my son because of his condition.  So, I worked full time and DH and I took turn caring for our son full time while the other was in the office.  Whenever we had a little accumulated,  we would hire a babysitter for a few hours so that we could frantically catch up on work.  After a year, our son was better, but we were broke and exhausted.  It became clear that I would have to monetize my credentials for the sake of our family.  So, I went back to my previous position at a hospital with better money.  The hours are terrible.  I routinely work 36-hour shifts.  But we are starting to put a dent in our debt.  Although I have a nanny and housekeeper, I cannot possibly delegate everything.  I am surprised by how hard it all still is.  And people in our lives cannot really understand because they are not in our shoes.

[b]I did not think I would have to add all of my personal business in order not to catch a backlash from some of the shrews on this board.  I should've known better. [/b] Thank you to everyone who has offered a helpful perspective.[/quote]

Well, goodness! I think that the details certainly make a material change to the lifestyle we all imagined you to be living. Working mom with a healthy toddler, nanny,  and housekeeper? BTDT without the nanny and housekeeper.

Working mom with an ill child, large student loans, and terrible hours at work? I have no idea how I'd feel about being in your shoes.  Probably overwhelmed.  [/quote]

Why do you need to know that a person's lifestyle is shit before you offer them a little human sympathy or keep it moving if you cannot be so gracious?[/quote]

Oh...I wasn't one of the one's giving OP a hard time, but I can at least understand why some people might. Hey, I agree. If you can't say anything nice...move along. [/quote]

Having context supports empathy. Without it, OP sounds like my mother who resented the hell of her children and marriage and life. She was a ball of resentment and anger and she blamed us for EVERYTHING. It was hard and damaging and took tons of therapy to untangle, but in the absence of severe stressors like an ill child, what you see if a woman who is bored, stressed, and wishing she had more free time on her hands. Oh, and is resentful. Not nice.

I'm sorry, OP. I hope your child is doing better. I actually recommend you take time and do therapy for yourself. I think even the hour or so you take can be very helpful in sorting out everything. Don't be my mom. [/quote]

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