Reply to Coming to grips with longterm relationship ending... why so hard?

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[quote=Anonymous]I haven't read all of the responses, but OP: you are fixated on why she's okay with the status quo, but what would knowing the answer to that question do for you? No matter WHAT her reason, the reality is the same: you are unhappy and unfulfilled. Are you hoping the answer is that she loves you, and that is why she doesn't leave? Would that answer satisfy you enough to stay in a sexless, passionate relationship?

So why are YOU accepting the status quo? That is the bigger question, and the only one you can truly know. As a PP said, you need to be able to live with the uncertainty and move forward, because years can go by with you chewing this over with no resolution.

This is my guess: she has lost her attraction to you but doesn't want to throw out an otherwise good relationship.
She hasnt left for the same reason YOU haven't left: it's f-ing hard to walk away from someone you have a history with, whom you care for. It's scary to start over and be alone when there's no guarantee you'll find anything better.

She's still in the relationship because it's hard to leave, and you're not going anywhere, it seems. And for whatever reason she's not very forthcoming, so maybe this is her pattern in relationships and she feels this might happen with any partner - that it's HER, not you.

Bottom line is you're left to guess and you'll never have your answer. And even in the best-case scenario, that she stays because she loves you, you're still miserable and not moving forward.

So YOU stop accepting the statis quo, stop driving yourself, your family, friends and DCUM crazy and move on -- in your head and in your life.[/quote]

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