Reply to Am I wrong for having an affair with a married man?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Then why are you still checking this thread?  Why did you start it in the first place?  You could have easily checked the archives for another on the same topic.  You haven't explained why you posted.

The man you are having an affair with claims he loves his wife and yet, for three years, he has cold-bloodedly lied to her about one of the most intimate aspects of their life together.

Here is my question to you: How can you be attracted to a person who has no integrity, who betrays someone he supposedly loves every single day?  I could not spend three years with someone who is capable of that.[/quote]

Not to mention, he says he loves her, but he lies to her every day.  What is his love worth?  When he says he loves you, what value can that possibly have?  Love, to him, does not apparently include integrity, honesty, or respect.

[/quote]

+1.  This is exactly what I thought when I found out my partner was cheating on me.  Once found out he begged me not to kick him out, told me he loved me, etc.  I could have deluded myself that he did love me.  He said it often enough.  But, what kind of love is it that lies?  I had access to his email, so I knew that he was lying to other women about the nature of our relationship.  Why should I think that I was the only one that he was telling the truth to?  Whatever he really felt or believed, I knew that I deserved to be with someone of integrity, who could be trusted, whom I knew meant what he said.  That is so important in any relationship -- friends, FWBs, lovers, partners, spouses, whatever.

I think the OP has serious self-esteem problems if she is willing to settle for a relationship with someone so dishonest.  She can't for a minute believe anything he says to her -- because he lies to other people, so what makes her believe he is telling her the truth about anything?

Sad.  [/quote]

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