Reply to Please tell me, 42yo mom of two young kids, the realities of divorce

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Reply to "Please tell me, 42yo mom of two young kids, the realities of divorce"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP--I'm so sorry you are going through this and I can feel your frustration through the computer. I just want you to know at least one person in internet-land feels your pain.

It sounds like a friend of mine who's DH was checked out because he wanted out but didn't have the nerve to tell her. So he just had an affair instead. --Divorced

But it could also be like another friend who's DH was just so damn depressed he didn't care about anything. She struggled for years for him to get help and he never did. --Divorced

At this point you have nothing to lose. I would write him a letter (so he can process it in his own time). Tell him you miss what you used to have. Then use examples and how that made you feel--I miss how we snuggled on the couch when we watched TV. It made me feel so secure and loved. I miss how we used to laugh about XYZ. It made me feel like we are a team; you and me against the world. Do not complain. Just point out the good times/things about him and how they made you feel. Then ask, "Do you miss that too?" Then tell him, "I want to be married to you, I love you, I want what we had. Please tell me how to get back there again. I will do whatever we need to do to make our marriage better and stronger. If not for us, for out DC."

After you've given it to him and you know he has read it. Read it out loud in counseling. Let the Therapist help guide him through how he feels about it and maybe help him find his words.

Good Luck!

PS--Have you looked into the weekend retreats I mentioned earlier in this post?[/quote]

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