Reply to Please tell me, 42yo mom of two young kids, the realities of divorce

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Reply to "Please tell me, 42yo mom of two young kids, the realities of divorce"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]really?? if you are honest with yourself did you put you husband second behind the children? Often wives go full-on mom mode after kids. This means the kids come first in everything and the mom also starts treating the husband like he can't do anything right when it comes to the kids (e.g., holds them wrong, feeds them wrong, does too much of this, to little of that, etc.). The mom spends all her time focused on the kids and doesn't give the husband any attention and affection. This makes the husband feel unwanted and unneeded. Just think of all the jokes and stereotypes of the "stupid" husband/father. My guess is that you did these things and this is the consequence. [/quote]

Look, right now, it doesn't matter if OP made a joke, or didn't treat her husband perfectly, although I have to say she sounds self aware and willing to shoulder her share of the blame. What matters is that she's trying to reach her husband, trying for intimacy, for discussion, she's actively trying to make their marriage work again and he is not, which is the ultimately position of holding all the cards and taking none of the responsibility.

I'm so sorry OP. I hope you guys can find your way back to each other. I was once in a relationship like this--its horrible to be lonely in a supposedly intimate relationship. He completely shut down, physically and emotionally. It mostly had to do with incredible stress and self esteem from his life and a messed up father figure, but it profoundly affected us and how I felt about myself. I left, but we had no kids. [/quote]

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