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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Realistically, will your MIL have to be your FIL's caregiver and spend many hours a week on that?  I don't know how much she can really work if, say, she has to drive him to appointments, etc.[/quote]

"His father has been diagnosed with a heart condition that means he will have to scale his hours back considerably."

It doesn't sound like he's at death's door and can work or collect disability.

MIL needs to work more than 15 hrs a week before they should expect help.[/quote]

OP here - he has been put on a lot of medication and I believe he is being evaluated for some kind of bypass procedure. He is very fit and in shape from years of construction, but he is a heavy, three or four pack a day smoker, and I think that will affect his recovery.[/quote]

So he smokes 3-4 packs a day?!?  Probably why he needs a bypass even though he is fit.  Irresponsible all the way around...  Your MIL is a princess.  She needs to work more hours.

[/quote]

OP here - yes, he is a super heavy smoker who had not been to the doctor in years until his wheezing and shortness of breath and chest pain became unbearable. There are many, many poor decisions at play in my in laws' lives.  I really can't begin to detail just how poor their judgment is.[/quote]

So your in-laws cannot take care of themselves financially, health-wise, etc.  Sounds like they need a mommy and daddy to take care of them.

You already have young children to take care of...  You can help if you wish but at this point, they sound like a lost cause.

Tell your husband that while you will lend emotional support, the only financial support you are comfortable giving is with funds left over from taking care of your own family, including vacations, cars, etc.  since you have worked hard to have the lifestyle you have.

Just keep in mind that your in-laws will not be grateful for any help you give bc they are irresponsible, entitled spoiled brats at heart even if they are old.[/quote]
OP here - this is definitely true.  My MIL behaves as if others are her serfs. She will not see any reason at all to be grateful if I help her.  My FIL will probably think it is his entitlement as a father, even though they have refused to help DH with basic things that one would think are his entitlement as son.[/quote]

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