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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Again, the HHI would give a good idea of whether or not helping them is a reasonable request.

Based on the fact you won't give the HHI, I'm going to assume it is sizable.

If you are making under $100K, no, there's no way you can support them if you living in the DC metro.

If, your household income is over $250K, then yes, you should be able to manage some sort of monthly allowance.

Another suggestion would be for them to sell all of the current property they own and move to a condo where they would not need to do to outside maintenance and, depending on where you buy, it might be better for you and your husband to buy the condo and put it in your name.  You could cover the HOA fees and they would essentially not have rent.

Could they live on the social security benefits if they drastically cut their living expenses?

There's too many unknown factors in what you've provided to be able to give any practical advice.

While I get you think you shouldn't have to pay anything, I'm not sure this viewpoint is going to get you far in your relationship with your husband.[/quote]

OP here - Should I buy them a palace and some butlers too?  Maybe I should quit my job to wait on them hand and foot. Thanks for posting, but this is ridiculous.[/quote]

You can buy an inexpensive condo depending on where it's located.   Again, there's not enough info to provide helpful info.

I'm going to have say that the more you respond the more obvious it is you are a bitter person with not much generosity of spirit.

Good luck.[/quote]

OP here - Ah, another lifelong mooch.  The way you expertly allocated my income to all sorts of allowances for my in laws tells me you have practice at earmarking others' funds. No doubt you think the hardworking people of the world are just awful when we don't let your ilk reach into our pocketbooks.[/quote]

I was much more sympathetic to your position until you started replying. You do sound kinda bitchy over and above your legitimate concerns.

My own situation has some things in common. DH and I are both immigrants and now make decent money. DHs parents have made several disastrous decisions that had a major impact on their ability to provide to themselves. They are used to living above their means (not extravagantly but consistently above what they actually can afford), have long ago squandered everything they have inherited, favor their other son, deny to our faces we gave them money we sent just a few months before, totally ignore our advice and protestations and are unrepentant in respect to their decisions and lifestyle. Yet, they are 65 and 70 and love their grandchildren (my children) to death. I had several screaming fights with my MIL but we made up.

We can afford to give them some money though my husband doesn't want to (he makes about 3 times more than I do). But I feel a bit sorry for them and I don't think it's a good example for my kids that they get various extras while their own grandparents are struggling (for which they are 100% responsible but still...). So I promised to give them money for a new car (which due to aforementioned disastrous decisions is an absolute necessity for them) and, since my husband objects, will likely fund that from my personal account. This is not the first time I give them money... but honestly, it makes me feel better about myself and I think it's good for the kids. The fact that they love my kids so much is the bottom line for me. My older daughter is quite willing to forfeit her own gifts so that we can send money to grandma. I think it's a good lesson in priorities. To be sure we are not sending them large sums  - they also live abroad where many things are cheaper. So, no, I wouldn't endanger my own livelihood because of them. [/quote]

Screaming fights with your MIL (no respect for your elders when you're not in the mood, eh?), taking from your kids, giving money behind DH's back just to make yourself feel good, enabling bad decisions.  Oy, you are what we call a real shmendrik. You need to be asking for advice, not giving it.[/quote]

i am not giving money behind my DH's back. he knows about it.

i don't think i actually gave any advice to OP but my life is pretty good. it's ok to give, really, even to those who haven't earned it by being perfect like you.[/quote]

Like I said, you are a shmendrik.  Your situation is a mess and you are too thick to see it.  You are robbing your children to satisfy your ego with your in laws.  Shuffling about money you don't have and behaving in all sorts of stupid ways.  Yuck.[/quote]

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