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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Families were stressed back when women followed traditional gender roles, just in a different way.  The truth is that there are no good options.  Families are stressful.  When women played traditional gender roles, they were stressed all the time because they were treated very badly by the majority of husbands (of course, maybe 25% of the husbands were good, but 75% treated their wives and children someplace between their dog and their car).  When women try to have some power in the relationship, by bringing in money and some independence, they have some self respect, but end up working 24/7.  I think it is an impossible problem, and we just have to accept that families will always make at least 50% of the people miserable.[/quote]

There's an interesting premise buried in your paragraph. I totally get the problem with the power disparity -- even if I'm skeptical of your statistics. (Wouldn't really matter if it was only, say, 20% of husbands abusing the power structure). But the idea that self-respect should be tied to bringing in money, rather than other life activities, is troublesome. Making money is often a shallow endeavor, unrewarding in the long term. It's necessary but, in my opinion, overvalued in our society. Our culture's narrow focus on earning and consumption makes our lives shallow and sad. [/quote]

True, but we live in our society, so we have to deal with its rules.  They are there, whether we like it or not.  And face it: money gives you freedom, and freedom means choice, which can often help with happiness.[/quote]

The same holds true with the qualities we encourage our boys to embrace. Being strong, fast, loud, and aggressive gives men more choices - choices in women, choices in money making opportunities - even while those qualities can cause problems for society generally. [/quote]

This is where your logic fails. I encourage my girl AND my boy to be strong, fast and assertive when appropriate, not aggressive. Loud and aggressive are not desirable habits, not in a child, not in a teenager, not in a partner, and not in the workplace. Unless you are a WWE wrestler, of course.[/quote]

You're picking at straws at this point. Take out the aggressive noun and everything else the PP says holds true. Being strong fast and assertive helps boys in both their social mating lives and careers. So suddenly admonishing boys to "tone it down" won't work, there is no incentive. Being strong fast and assertive similarly help girls in their careers. I highly doubt you have a son.[/quote]

Why on earth would you doubt that? It's not nitpicky to say that you are dead wrong about "loud and aggressive" behavior being a desirable trait in anyone. [b]In fact, boys are being medicated in record numbers in order to keep them from being loud and aggressive. [/b]

I do have a son who is sometimes loud, rarely aggressive, and sweet as can be with a very, very big heart. He is being raised by two working parents, including a very loving and nurturing father. I have zero concerns about his future, either in dating or in finding a job. Our family situation, with its shared roles and responsibilities, is completely ordinary for this area.[/quote]

How sad that we're doing this to our boys.[/quote]

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