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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote][quote]This is as bad as the pretty thread 
 For goodness sake don't call yourself ugly![/quote]

How about "not physically attractive?"

It's weird how much importance people place on beauty in women. If someone said "I'm not a good cook" you wouldn't be throwing such a fit.

I'm not pretty. I'm 46, 60 pounds over weight. I have lots of worry lines and laugh lines. I have a thin mouth, a snub nose, and my eyes are to small. My face is too round. My hair is a disaster -- thin and curly. I have the wings on the top of my arms. I have a belly from having kids. I'm apple shaped. I wear glasses because I can't wear contacts anymore.

I am ugly. I am also smart, kind, and funny. I work hard. My kids adore me. My husband loves me.

Pretty isn't everything. [/quote]

Two thumbs up!  What's wrong with saying "I don't meet conventional standards of beauty," but "whatever, f--k it!"  Why this desperation to pretend that everyone meets these (arbitrary) standards?  I would guess this need to find everyone "beautiful" is precisely because many people equate "beautiful" = good and appealing.  But that just reinforces the basic fallacy that physical appearance is somehow morally superior ... which is the perspective that we are (or should be) trying to shake.

It's like we first say "physical beauty is not of any moral import" while simultaneously needing to say "no no honey, but you *are* beautiful!"[/quote]
What is important is trying to feel good about all of you. What folks are trying to get at is turning those conventional standards on their head and saying everyone is beautiful in their own way. It's weird, as if people are fighting so hard to be allowed to have a negative self-perception, as if me saying to you that I think you are beautiful is some way damaging or taking way from whatever view you  have of yourself and you damn well are not going to let people view you any differently(or BETTER) than you view yourself. I don't get it.[/quote]

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