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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]I am not that person but I have a similar issue in that I orgasm very regularly with myself, and pretty much never with my DH. Because:

- when I ask for oral, it's always "next time" or a set of ridiculous excuses 
 - he says no to sex toys 
 - he touches me about 200% rougher than I like with manual stimulation, and 
 - if I touch myself when I'm with him, then I feel resentful because I would just rather do it by myself instead of doing all the work myself with him fumbling about. Then it becomes basically about making my body available to him, with me rubbing myself to an orgasm navigating around whatever he is doing with me, which is never what I need. [/quote]

My God this is depressing.  And yet, sadly an accurate description of many many relationships.  And probably 80% of the reason why all these (female) spouses are "low drive."[/quote]

Doubt it's 80%. I think it's pretty common for a desperate husband in a low sex marriage to have tried very hard. If it was as simple as watching and learning when she showed him what she wanted, these guys putting a lot of effort into trying to get laid would have done that pretty early on.

My guess is that familiarity, hormones, and a wife's failure to prioritize sex is at least as responsible as the guy who ignores clear instructions. [/quote]

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