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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No O lady, what is it you'd need him to do that he wouldn't do?

Here's what I would do. To get around having to tell him you've been faking it, I'd stop faking it. I'd tell him that it seems like your hormones or something must have shifted with time, and you need to try some new things.

Buy some sex toys and try them out with him. Or who knows, he may have secretly been longing to do some of the things with you that you need. You have to own that you're responsible for your orgasms. Take the burden off him. If he feels threatened by that, it's his problem. What's he going to do, withhold sex? No loss, eh. But there are ways to communicate and share your sexuality with him without being threatening. It's a big hurdle for you, maybe, to get over, but talk yourself into doing it. You're not an object that only reacts when OTHERS touch you. Show him, and at the same time, enjoy yourself. If he doesn't want to do what you show him, then do it yourself, when you're with him.[/quote]

I am not that person but I have a similar issue in that I orgasm very regularly with myself, and pretty much never with my DH. Because:

- when I ask for oral, it's always "next time" or a set of ridiculous excuses
 - he says no to sex toys
 - he touches me about 200% rougher than I like with manual stimulation, and
 - if I touch myself when I'm with him, then I feel resentful because I would just rather do it by myself instead of doing all the work myself with him fumbling about.  Then it becomes basically about making my body available to him, with me rubbing myself to an orgasm navigating around whatever he is doing with me, which is never what I need. [/quote]

The first three completely make sense and are on him. The last one is tougher to work around -- if he changed his stripes on oral, sex toys, and listening to you when you tell him what feels good, do you think the resentment would fade and allow you to show him what to do without feeling put out about it?[/quote]

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