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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]16 year-terrible grades, terrible (nonexistent?) study skills, blames everyone but himself for anything that goes wrong. Very oppositional!! Many tears (privately of course) have been shed over this boy. However, there has been some improvement in his attitude over the last few months.  
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I will join you in misery. I'm the OP of a recent thread about my DD failing school. Well, my plan to allow her to take personal responsibility backfired and she's going to repeat the 10th grade. She wants to fit in, won't do her work because she wants to look cool and won't ask for help when she's confused because she doesn't want to look dumb (so, in turn, she doesn't turn in work). I'm at my WIT'S END and thinking the only solution at this point is homeschooling. I've talked to her until I'm blue in the face about her low self-esteem but unless she wants to change, there's really nothing else I can do except remove her from the environment.

So, yeah.... :(  :( [/quote]

I'm glad I decided to look at this thread again! I'm the PP you are responding to here. I don't think your plan to have her take personal responsibility has failed at all! Your DS will now actually have to learn the consequences of her behavior, so good for you!!!! I have been seeing  a therapist for help dealing with my teen and she definitely advocates a more "hands off" approach with their school work at this age. She regales me with stories of her own son who had to take summer school and graduate behind his class. Now he is a teacher!

I'm having a hard time stepping back from the situation, I wish I could be as strong as you are!! I feel tremendous guilt because DS has ADD and I feel that I have failed in getting him help.
I've wanted to get him an ADD coach, tutors, etc, and he refuses. I'm having a terrible time letting go of this guilt, and the desire to help him.[/quote]

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