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[quote=Anonymous]Are you still here OP? I think you & your husband need to go into counseling for how to jointly manage your finances. Financial disagreements are the #1 cause for divorce and it sounds like you're Catholic, so I would focus my "die on a hill" energies on the big picture red flag - your marriage has a problem that today is about whether & how to pay for your ILs' flight, but several years from now is going to be about "well, I work hard and it's my money, so why should I have to check with you before loaning it out to my sister or buying this thing I've always wanted" and your side of the story is going to be that you have zero saved for the kids' college yet, that's why.

My ILs are super upfront and blunt, so we have this kind of candor, so in your situation, I would just call up my MIL and tell her directly - that DH & I weren't on the same page about the budget for the baptism when he offered to pay for the flights, that we still haven't come to an agreement, and that we need to come to an understanding about how to manage our finances jointly if this marriage is going to stick. So, for now, plans for a party aren't on the priority list, and it's going to take some time to sort what to do about the flights. In the meantime, DH & I will keep talking and we'll let you know when we're reached at least a short-term compromise.

I know that wouldn't work for a lot of families, but my MIL would understand the gravity of the situation and back down on any demands about flights & a party. [/quote]

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