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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

+1 This is a wise perspective. So help me understand something...the "flirty" emails...are they recent (meaning, since being engaged, living together and getting married)? [/quote]

The flirty emails are older, from before we were married. Mostly during the dating phase and but others when we were engaged. He says it was wrong, he feels awful, has felt awful for a very long time. He said he was so used to being single and living the single life for the six or seven years after his divorce and before we met, that he had a hard time breaking from it. He kept it up, being flirtatious with exes and obviously carrying on something with the other woman in particular, while we were casually dating and then more seriously dating. He knew he should stop, particularly when we got engaged and the plans to relocate were being realized, but it was harder for him to do than he thought it would be, and he didn't. When we moved to our new city he ended everything. He was excited to start a new life with me, and I was the person, the only person, he wanted to be with for his life. And that that hasn't changed.

I told him the issue I have is that I've been setting up, planning and preparing for this new life, this marriage, for the four years we'd been together. And apparently, I was doing it alone. Our commitment was real to me the entire time we dated and were engaged. And it wasn't to him. It wasn't real for him until the long distance was over and he made vows. So in a lot of ways, I don't think we have the same type of shared past and experiences anymore. He has tarnished our past and present and possibly ruined any future, for me individually and as a couple if we remain one. Remorse doesn't change being a complete piece of shit and hurting the person you supposedly love the most. I have no clue if he is capable of being honorable and good. I thought he had been, so we were both wrong.[/quote]

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