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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

He is remorseful and claims it is all in the past and moving here,[b] living together and marrying me was him changing from an old life and person he disliked to the person he wants to be and the future he wants[/b]. He says he realizes he has a serious issue to deal with and he wants to deal with it and will do everything in his power to rebuild my trust and show me he is the person I once thought he was. I am not sure if I believe him or if he is saying these things because he doesn't want to lose me. I just don't know at this point.

[/quote]

He may very well want to be a different person and want to stay with you.  But, the bolded part is a huge red flag.  He is telling you that the person he is is not the person you thought you married.  He is telling you that he has so little self-control, self-introspection, and ability to self-develop, that he has had to pull someone else into his life (you) under false presences to try to become a better "someone else".

This is what you are being asked to do -- to be the outside force that changes his inner self.

When you think about it, it's crazy.

It's up to you whether you want to sign up for that role.  IME, it's not a tenable way to live your *own* life.  [/quote]

+1 This is a wise perspective. So help me understand something...the "flirty" emails...are they recent (meaning, since being engaged, living together and getting married)? [/quote]

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