Reply to How to talk race and diversity with a preschooler?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again. FWIW, both perspectives make sense to me. We're down with emphatic (and hopefully have been emphatic enough in addressing this, but will ratchet it up a notch if it happens again) but not with shaming, just because that's not part of how our family approaches discipline. But I'm not super convinced that either of those responses does much to address the underlying thoughts--words and actions, yes, and those do matter to me too. But it's the thoughts I'm worried most about, because if we can address those I like to think that appropriate words and actions will [eventually] follow. And if we can't, I worry that even if the words and actions stop because of whatever stick or carrot we use now, they'll just resurface later in some other form. :/[/quote]
I am the poster who said that emphatic is not wrong(I need therapy now, because I feel so misunderstood -- :cry: ) 
Seriously, as I have posted time and again, it is about an ongoing conversation, again, and again and again. You cannot just tell the kid that is now how we refer to people. You have to explain that people are all unique and and have value and they are more than their physical/racial/national characteristics. I am a lighter skinned AA woman, my DH is dark skinned. When one of my brown skinned kids was young, she used to say I want to be white like you mommy. She did not understand race, and complexion, etc. So I would tell her that she was beautiful and not just because of her color, but all of the things that  make her, "her" , make her special. I pointed out that in our family, as in lots of black families, there are people of all different hues. We like to emphasize that God made everyone unique, not that everyone is different from us, but that we are all special unto ourselves. We want people to see all of who we are and to whittle that down to one physical characteristic is hurtful. you keep talking, that's all I can tell you. Keep the conversation going.[/quote]

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