Reply to Tough situation with stepdaughter

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[quote=Anonymous]Oh jeez, OP. Your weekend sounds like a caricature of a blended family. I feel like reading your update was like reading a tweaked version of Cinderella. Is there an evil cat involved? Did any mice make you a dress??

I'm the glass-of-wine PP. Do you and your husband have areas of conflict other that DSD? That is to say, when she moves out to attend school, do you anticipate these daily conflicts going away? I assume there will still be conflict related to her phoning home for money, assuming he will fly her around places or whatever other wants she has as a college student - strongly suggest that you guys have a conversation (just the two of you) about what kind of support you will and will not provide her while she's in college, what conditions (if any) will be attached to that support and how decisions about changing the agreement will be made. Once you've got an agreement, it will need to get communicated to DSD. Under normal circumstances, I would say that this is your husband's responsibility, but at this point, I am kind of doubtful that you can rely on him to do that. Perhaps you can have a family conversation?

My point is, if this is really the only area of conflict, can you practice some good old fashioned avoidance about DSD until she goes away to school? I'm sure 6 months feels like a long time, but in reality, it's not that long and if this is the only problem area, it might not be worth upsetting the apple cart over something that will naturally conclude in less than a year.

I think you should definitely speak to your husband about the baby situation. Like I said last week, I was the one who changed my mind about second baby, and to be honest, it was one of the main things that destroyed my first marriage. I am happily remarried, but I learned so much from my divorce about how to be in a good relationship and communicate well. I would hate for you and your DH to have to learn those lessons the way I did.

Hang in there. If you actually want to get that glass of wine, let me know how to get in touch and we can see if we can make it happen. In the meantime, your DSD is Norwegian, right? Norwegians know about snow. She can shovel next time.[/quote]

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