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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, this is the Nord PP who you wanted to get a glass of wine with.

How are you doing today? How was your weekend?[/quote]

It means SO much that you asked (and I'm also so grateful to everyone who weighed in with support and similar stories. THANK YOU).

It was a tough weekend because of the weather and such close quarters. I was already on edge emotionally because of the post and all the thinking I'd been doing. I was feeling pretty hurt by my husband's  decisions and (in)actions, even though for him it would have seemed to come out of the blue (it has been a long time since we talked about anything related to us having kids, to his parenting techniques, to my step-daughter's attitudes towards me).

I tried to stay calm and friendly and I think I did a pretty good job. But I was the one to shovel the driveway, the walk, clean off the cars (we have two), venture out, get food, etc. He never asks his daughter to do anything at home and I suppose because of the history she had of being so mean to me over the past two years, I've been pretty critical (inside - never expressed it to anyone ever, except on this forum) about how little she contributes. In fact, she contributes zero to the running of the house. My husband or I prepare every meal, clean every dish. She does her own laundry, but never does any chores that contribute to the common good.

Anyway, while I was shoveling there was a cacophony of noise on our street - ltierally 8 out of 10 neighbors were out shoveling and smashing through that thick layer of ice. If, like me, you live on the shady side of the street, you know if was HARD work. Anyway, apparently the noise disturbed my step daughter who was still in bed at 12:00 noon. She came down screaming to her dad that I was making too much noise and that she wanted to go back to her mom's. That she hated it at our house and that she can do whatever she wants and leave when she wants.

My husband values his time with her as she is leaving for college in the fall (presumably she will live on campus, because she's only applying to schools out of state). He came outside and told me to stop shoveling. I have to say that I was seething inside. If I didn't do it, it wouldn't get done. And I was really gunned that he would think that someone sleeping past noon is entitled to run things. Not to mention the fact that even if I stopped shoveling and chipping at the ice our neighbors across the street, to our right and to our left were all still shoveling. It didn't make any sense.

I did quit and came inside in the interest of harmony, but inside I was really just at my wit's end. I hate to admit but both saturday and sunday nights I grabbed a bottle of vodka and chugged it so that I could pass out. This is the first and only time I've ever self-medicated with alcohol or any drug. I'm fortunate not to have any kind of addiction problems (though people in my family do, so I don't say that lightly).

Today I woke up totally hung over and miserable and sad and re-read much of this thread. Everyone who posted something kind - you helped me today. And people who suggested speaking with a therapist are right. I'm angry at my husband, my stepkid and myself too. I tried to find a provider through BCBS PPO who will take new patients, but so far I've struck out. I think she's going back to her mom's tonight and if I have the guts I'll take this time to speak to my husband. In the meantime I'm going to force myself to hit the gym after work. A workout always makes me feel better.

Thank you guys who care for caring![/quote]

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