Reply to Some people just don't understand the sacrifices required to be a parent...

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[quote=Anonymous]I told my wife some things but there's some things I can't tell my wife.  And also some things that I wanted to mention on this board.  I think some of it is risky because I wouldn't be surprised if some of the people were on DCUM.

But I've never felt loved or secure with my wife.  And that goes to the emotional need for myself that I kind of hinted throughout the threads.

The etc physical thing I was mentioning was sex.  The sex is there and I think she enjoys it but the intimacy isn't.

A lot of the issues is that our relationship was based on sex and not necessarily the way I would've chosen to start it.  When I talk about difference in values I also mean that.

The root of all that is that I have felt loved and secure before but got really hurt.  The relationships that followed was me trying to control the relationships and trying to force it to be like that relationship where I felt safe and secure.  So those girls used get hurt and accuse me of using them.

I got that and realized that my head was really screwed up by that girl.  But I never realized how controlling I was in those relationships until now.  And I didn't realize how much I crave that type of relationship until now.

Some of it came to light when I was thinking about who I used to be able to talk about this kind of thing and it was basically any of those girls.

After all these years my head is still screwed up.

I can't tell my wife this because that girl is back in my life but not in the same way as before.  Our relationship will never be like it was before.  And also I don't think my wife is capable of providing what I want.  My wife says that she loved me but I just didn't feel it.

I know this sounds gay but I'm seriously not gay.  I lust after girls and have sexual needs.  And sometimes leer at girls when I'm not careful.

Anyways not sure if I'm trying to be manipulative and trying to garner pity.

Anyways thanks for listening.

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