Reply to Some people just don't understand the sacrifices required to be a parent...

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Reply to "Some people just don't understand the sacrifices required to be a parent..."

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I sympathize with you on wanting your wife to be home for dinner and spend time with your children. That reflects an important value: Family. But you ALSO say that your wife's job is not secure, and that she has gotten better about trying to work shorter hours. Have you considered, seriously considered, that your wife is in a tough place, trying to balance keeping her job with spending time with family (not to mention work may be her only escape from you, but let's table that for now, shall we)?

You keep harping on your values, of which family is perhaps utmost. At the same time, you disparage your wife for having a different background and values, nevermind that she works AND does all of the cleaning, cooking, etc.

Despite your strenuous words, you do NOT practice good family values.

You are not only controlling, as other PPs have pointed out, but also emotionally manipulative.

You NEVER forget any "wrongs" (perceived or real), and you throw them back at your wife in hurtful ways. You continue to "punish" your wife with separate finances years later because of her "selfishness" in buying a house when you told her not to.

But at the heart of all this: You are simply NEVER wrong. You alone know the right way to do things, and heaven help anyone who disagrees with you. (That is a mistake you will make them pay for, or remind them of, for the rest of their life.)

It must be so exhausting for your wife to always have to be perfect (an impossible standard), and to have all of her faults thrown back at her when things do not work out according to (your) plan.

The reason you are not receiving much sympathy here, despite making an ostensible "good" point about parental sacrifice and the importance of family, is because you treat your spouse, your FAMILY, pretty horrifically.

We have another saying in the US, which I find rather patronizing actually, but in your case, might be worth taking very seriously: "Happy wife, Happy life." If your wife is happy, she will be happier to spend more time with you and the children.

OP, I very much doubt these words will have any impact, but I must try: Humble yourself. Goodness knows, you need to. Turn a clean slate, and focus your efforts on making your wife happy. This won't solve all of your problems (because you have MAJOR issues), but I think it will make a difference in promoting your family's welfare.[/quote]

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