Reply to All the guys I like on match do not want potential matches to have kids.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a 37 year old never married guy.  A kid isn't necessarily a deal breaker in a woman, but she'd have to be really special.  Even if the kid is great, it's a huge complication and we all already lead complicated lives.

That's not to say there aren't single men who date/marry single moms.  But there are many, many single women without kids in DC and other big cities.  All else being equal, the guys with options (and no kids themselves) will choose the childless woman.

Dating her age or even a couple years younger won't help.  In fact, it will increase the likelihood the guys will just be into something casual.  Many childless guys in their late 20's are looking for relationships, but with childless women in their mid to late 20's.  They'd date/have sex with OP but that's it.  She is smart to look older, that's where she'll have the most luck. [/quote]

OP, this is why dating an older guy isn't necessarily going to net you better results. You have to treat guys as individuals. I'm the 31yo single mom and personal experience in the dating world has taught me that. I get asked out regularly and have met guys looking for commitment. Don't play yourself into thinking only an older guy will take you seriously. Sometimes guys our age and a bit younger don't have as many negative dating experiences to judge you against.

Dating can be a crapshoot for all singles, but all you need is one guy to fit with you. Try your best to treat each date as just that! You can sabotage something good if you're going in with too many expectations. Oh, and the first two weeks on any online website, you're the new fish. Take advantage!lol
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I think the advice about treating guys as individuals is good, but the first quoted poster speaks the truth, as does OP's own search results - [i]men that she finds attractive in her desired age range[/i] who are childless don't want to date women with children. Is this a generality? Of course. I knew a guy who was mid-20s who met and started dating a woman who was at the time pregnant with someone else's child. He gave the child his last name when it was born, married her, and they've gone on to have 3 or 4 more. There are exceptions.

That said, it's smart to fish in the best possible pond, especially if you have limited time to fish (as OP obviously does, given that she's also parenting). Targeting her online searches (and the messages she sends out) to older men, preferably with children of their own, will yield the most results. If a truly exceptional fish should jump into her pond (e.g. younger, childless, messages her first) then by all means, she should consider them as the individual they are, but online, her efforts will be best spent on older men/men with children, using a cost/benefits analysis. [/quote]

Your analysis sounds good on paper, but its just not true. A truly exceptional fish = single, childless? Most singles our age will fall into this category. Its by far the biggest pond available. Don't miss out on that wave of guys who settle down between 32-35. OP, please don't sell yourself short here and assume that you don't stand a chance by virtue of having a child. You're still fairly young in this area and if you're still in great shape AND friendly, you will have options. I have married gfs (who were divorced moms) who have never dated older men (or dads) and were asked out regularly. Being attractive is the biggest hurdle. This is why men who claim they want women without kids are pinging you right and left. Sure, some of them will just want to screw. But guys go after childless women solely for sex too.lol As women, we've been weeding out those suckers since puberty hit, so that should be easy to do. Take advantage of the fact that you can still cast a wide age net. There will be plenty of duds online of all ages. Guys who are still quite immature, men who are clearly still single for a reason, men who trash their exes, etc.

OP, whats your custody situation? How strong is your support system?[/quote]

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