Reply to SAHMs: how do you balance time alone versus spouse's time alone

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wait, I just don't understand how the OP is the problem.  I don't even get the sense that she's complaining!  Her DH wants more time to himself, and he's right to want that, but she can want that, too.  It's not like watching a child all day is giving her "time to herself."

I'm a SAHP but also used to work PT.  It was tough, and I feel for WOHPs.  But this attitude of hating on SAHPs is unfair.  I remember being stressed a lot when I was at work, but I also could take a 5-minute break.  I could go to the bathroom without someone screaming into the bathroom for me to come help with something.  I could go get a cup of coffee without worrying that something terrible was going to happen at my workstation while I got up to go get it.  I could chat with other adults for a moment in between working on projects.  It was stressful, but there were built-in break times -- things we need to recharge.

When you SAH, you don't ever have those break times.  No matter how well-behaved your kids are, they simple want as much as you can give all the time.  Maybe they nap -- or maybe they don't -- and then perhaps you have a short break.  Well, I wouldn't ask you to use your 15-minute coffee break to scrub the bathroom at work or vacuum around your desk, and it's not fair to assume a SAHP has the energy to run off and do these things the minute she/he finally gets a break.

Also, doing errands is important, but maybe the OP really wants to spend time with her kid -- doing things that are helping him/her develop and grow, not just running around town going to the post office and grocery store.  I personally think these things are valuable lessons, but I also  understand the hesitation to do them all the time, particularly if I'd like for a moment to peacefully think about what I want to make for dinners this week instead of just frantically throw things in the cart before a meltdown occurs.[/quote]

I love how you think working professionals in high stress jobs get regular breaks. Dream world.[/quote]

Big law attorney turned SAHM here. When I was working, with the exception of the most crazy hectic crisis days, I managed to find ten minutes here and there to get a cup of coffee from the kitchen, close my office door and take a break away from my email. Those breaks would occasionally get interrupted with a phone call or someone knocking on my door, but not all the time. It's completely different being home with the kids, because even if I take that break, I always have my ears/eyes on the kid to make sure she doesn't get into something, or she interrupts every 30 seconds for various reasons (or just because she wants her attention). The interruptions are relentless at home in a way they very rarely were when I worked.[/quote]

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