Reply to Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?

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Reply to "Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I havent read all the posts but its really not about if a 14 y.o. cares about your wedding. Its about a chance for the entire family to be together, which sounds like something that doesnt happen too often if you are in different states.

Its also an opprtunity to think about priorities.  I know DCUM never thinks anything family related is a priority (see the post where a poster told the mom she is neglecting her 20 m.o. for trying to talk to her grandmother on the phone for 10 mins a day) or all the people who hate their siblings, in-laws, parents, etc. But some of us put a very high value on family and being together and there for each other in the time of big events - like weddings, etc.  - even if it means sacrificing a little of our own happiness.

What if a grandparent were sick and they werent sure if they could see them again?
What if a parent were having surgery and needed help/care but the kid had a big test?
What happens when the child is an adult and their kid needs them to take off work for a school play?

If we dont instill in our kids that being there for family - in good and bad - is important, then they are unlikely to make family a priority in the future. To me, thats a much more important value than committing to a soccer game. [/quote]

But there is a flip side to that also.  My family is VERY close knit.  We are the type to attend EVERYTHING - including weddings AND ball games.  If an activity is important to a family member, we do not judge what is MORE important - we support that person.  So in my family, people would not dismiss the importance of the wedding to OP and would not dismiss the importance of the soccer game to the kid.

But it was the members of my family who taught me that commitment was important also.  When you commit to be part of a team and they come to rely on you, dismissing that commitment should not be taken lightly.

That being said, it all depends on the maginitude of the game.  A normal regular season game, my kids would probably gladly miss it.  A playoff game - they would play. [/quote]

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