Reply to DH and MIL lied to me about knowing about our pregnancy

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Reply to "DH and MIL lied to me about knowing about our pregnancy"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]
Well, I agree with everything you said except this. I do think that what her MIL did was somewhat wrong, but not nearly as wrong as what her DH did. I would feel weirded out if my MIL was insanely overacting annoyance with me about not telling her I was pregnant in order to hide the fact that she knew I was pregnant. I would not, however, be dwelling on it or expecting an apology two years after the fact. I would probably think, "that was kind of annoying and over the top on MIL's part. What a waste of time and energy," and move on.

See, if MIL and I had a great relationship at this point, I would think that too. The problem is, something was off about that whole trip, and afterward I left feeling confused and not really trusting her and not knowing why. I guess I'm sad about what could have been had this not been hanging in the air all this time.   
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But you are not going to have a great relationship with every person - whether they are your mother in law or not.  I think what you need to focus on is why you have such a hard time letting go of the idea that you would have had a great relationship but for this incident.  Yes, the behavior of both your MIL and DH strikes me as inappropriate (especially your DH, but her as well).  But it seems to me from your postings that it is unlikely that anything can be done to resolve your issues with MIL - and that is fine.  But I do think it would be helpful for you to speak to someone to figure out how to move forward productively and not dwell on it, whether or not you wind up being close with her.  You are expending a lot of emotional energy being upset about this, and it doesn't seem that you are getting much benefit from it.[/quote]

lol @ the evidence of expending emotional energy being because I posted to DCUM about it and paid a lot of attention to my thread today.  Isn't the standard for posting to DCUM about something much lower than that? :)

I have no idea whether or how much our relationship would be different, it's kind of the "what if" that is unsettling.  I do think it has had some impact but not clear how much.  And curious about where to go from here.  If I have to tolerate her only, then that's what I'll have to do.

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