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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]All men and women should know - when you have kids, there may be a situation in your family that one of you have to SAHP.  So, be mentally prepared for things to change - for better or worse and in sickness and health.

That being said -   plan out your kids, be financially stable and [b]live on one paycheck[/b] when you do not have kids.[/quote]

For many people, this is just not possible:  Social workers, teachers, people working for minimum wage - they cannot live on one paycheck.

Also note that all men and women should know:  [b]When you have kids, there may be a situation in your family that requires that you work for money to support your children.  So, be prepared to do that.  Do not have children that you, personally, cannot support.[/b][/quote]
This is EXACTLY it, and so, so many women in this area (and on this post!) just don't get it.[/quote]

I think you are so obsessed with the SAH issue that you and the many others that are obsessed with the financial side it don't get it.  OP never said they were financially struggling because she does not work.  He said it would be financially better if she returns to work and that there are various other aspects of her not working that he does not like, including the stress of being the sole earner.

From there, it is basic common sense.  If you want someone to do x, and they do not want to do x, you need to understand their objections to x
 and address those objections in order to persuade them to do x.  Here x is returning to paid work.  Until OP understands why his wife doesn't want to return, he never will be able to persuade her to return.  This is true whether or not you think her objections are rational or not.[/quote]

She doesn't have the right to opt out of work without her husband's agreement. Period.[/quote]

Right, because once you marry, you are chattel.  [/quote]
No, because once you marry, you no longer take unilateral decisions. [/quote]

Says the poster who loves unilateral statements.  OP hasn't addressed what occurred when dw left her job; quite possible he didn't object because he believed it would be temporary.

I disagree with you btw.  No one should continue to work in a job that makes them miserable, unless it is necessary to pay rent and buy food.  Not the case here.  If my dh told me he couldn't stand his job and needed to take some time to figure his life out or to be with our kids, I wouldn't force him to work, particularly if it was a financially wash in the short term. Spouses support one another.[/quote]

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