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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know about you, OP, but I am the planner in my relationship.  I have been married for many years now and what I have learned is that if I don't plan it, it won't happen.  My MIL lives locally and I am down to seeing her 3 times a year.  Why?  Because I don't make plans for us to see her except on holidays.  Every now and then my husband makes a big fuss over how "we" need to spend more time with his mother.  I could make a fuss and stomp around and list out chapter and verse all the reasons why I have zero desire to spend more time with her.  Instead, I smile and say, "You are so right!"  And then I do nothing.  Soon enough, your weekends will be filled with kids activities so you won't have time to spend multiple days with them per month.

Just relax a little right now and ride through the holidays.  After the first of the year, just stop making plans with them so often.  If you see them every week, cut out one visit.  Or, send your kids and your husband alone.  This may seem counterintuitive, but let me tell you, if your husband doesn't enjoy wrangling two kids and dealing with sugar crashes and tantrums and all that goes into dealing with two kids, he will start to put his foot down.    
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You sound lovely.  So you are modeling how your children should treat their grandparents.  Can't wait til you are one.[/quote]

She's actually 100% right and being perfectly fair. It's not her job to encourage a relationship between her ILs and her husband or her ILs and her kids.  Her ILs can pick up the phone and talk to her husband to make plans. Her husband can pick up the phone and talk to HIS parents to make plans. She doesn't stand in the way. She doesn't bitch. She just doesn't take responsibility for something that is HER HUSBAND's responsibility.

If you want to have a relationship with your grandkids, call your son. Make plans with your son. Not the wife's job. [/quote]

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