Reply to For married couples with children that split the bills 50/50...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]So far no one has given any details about exactly how this works?  Does each spouse get a fixed amount of money each month in a personal account to spend however they want, maybe $1,000 a month or something, like an allowance, where as everything else goes into the joint account?  I could see that working, because regardless of the spouses income they have the same amount of spending money.[/b]

It seems like most people are talking about a percentage split or something, though.  That would work ok if both spouses had similar incomes, but what about if incomes are unequal?  Say one parent is a partner at a law firm making $400K a year, while the other is a fed making $120K a year or so.  Does the lower income spouse just have a lot less spending money than the higher income one?

That doesn't sound fair.  If one spouse stays at home with the kids, it is even less fair.[/quote]

This is what we do, and I posted about it earlier in the thread. But no one seemed to notice because it didn't fit their "one foot out the door" narrative. They were too busy jumping on those of us who don't have everything fully merged.

Those with joint and separate accounts don't seem to be bothered by those who have only joint accounts. Several posters with only joint accounts seem very interested in discrediting other people's arrangements. Why?[/quote]

It's odd to me that a couple would merge every other aspect of their lives, down to merging DNA to make a kid, but then still have separate bank accounts. The whole process seems needlessly complicated: splits based on income, shuffling money around to multiple accounts, "borrowing" money from the person you are married to, and all that. What is gained by all that?

The only argument I've seen in favor of separate finances is to protect the woman from a jerk-off who would leave her high and dry, but I see that as a litmus test, if you don't trust him implicitly enough to merge money, don't marry him.[/quote]

And yet I've seen people who say that merged finances are a way to "prevent" cheating (which is a ridiculous idea, but it's out there)--how is that somehow a display of implicit trust, but separate accounts aren't?

[/quote]

The idea is that merged accounts require force a couple to sit down, talk about future goals together, and talk about sometimes difficult issues. It sets a good precedent of communicating about on the relationship as a whole, and reduces the likelihood of the couple "drifting" apart, or allowing problems to fester.

Merged accounts don't prevent cheating, but can be an extra line of defense against it.[/quote]

Most of the people here have merged accounts in addition to whatever personal accounts they have, so I'm sure they've had those discussions.

I don't buy the cheating argument in either circumstance. [/quote]

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